I decided like three weeks ago that I would start blogging again. I designed a cute little header that I tweaked again and again (the cuteness entirely courtesy of Petunia, the purple polka-dotted cow, by the way, nothing to do with me!), I wrote up a little bio that I edited and refined again and again. But when it came to actually writing a blog post, I couldn’t muster the courage to do it until now.
Okay, okay, before you begin… I recognize that blogging requires very little actual courage, but it does take some to essentially put yourself out there in the world. For me, blogging is a rather intimate act – one consisting of putting down my thoughts and feelings into words that I do not very easily convey verbally, and then going a step further, opening these same thoughts and feelings up to scrutiny from potentially anyone who has access to the internet.
Sure, I could continue to blog privately or anonymously as I have done for many years prior, but it’s a weird thing being human. We are not meant to nor can we be isolated for too long. A part of being human is to be acknowledged for who we are by those in our lives and that requires some vulnerability on our part.
The truth is I have no reason to blog if no one reads my blog. I do not write solely for others (I have a journal which remains the repository for the many things of my life that are better left unread by anyone but me), but a large part of my love for writing comes from the fact that it’s how I best communicate with others. Writing for others, in other words, is one part of how I am able to feel my most Rafia-est self (eating cake is another! ;). And here’s the idealist in me: Maybe that other person reading my blog might find something in my writing to be educational (so maybe I can teach — and no public speaking involved!). Or if not, maybe something I write causes them to reflect on their own life. If I can do that, then I should. I sound very quixotic right now, but I gotta at least try. I can’t call myself a writer if all I do is say I like writing.
Wow, so I totally went off on a tangent there. I was going to write about why I love cake so much (I guess that’s why you should title your post after you write it? Meh). But perhaps I’ll leave that for my next post. It’ll give me incentive to write again! If you reached up to this point, hopefully you’ll come back to read that. Part II’s gonna be about why I love cows so much! And I know y’all are just dying to know the answer to that one!