Back in the doldrums

I feel as if I’ve hit a point in my life where I have absolutely no goals.

Substantial ones that inspire and feel me with passion.

It ain’t a quarter-life (already had it) nor is it a mid-life (not there yet) crisis.

Perhaps everyone feels this sense of malaise as they near their thirties?

Let’s see.

Graduated. Twice.

Got married. Still married.

And no plans to have kids yet (that is NOT a solution, despite what certain extended family members might say).

What’s next?

Sure, there are other things that I would like to do and frankly, have to do. But none of these are as cool-sounding as getting a PhD in Russian Literature, for example.

At the moment, I am anxiously waiting to find out whether there will be a complete change in my daily routine… or whether things will remain, as they have been, for the past couple of months.

I’m afraid of the latter.

Because then, I’ll find myself again in this mental space: not knowing what I am doing or where I am going with my life.

P.S. I realize my past few posts have been way gloomier than my usual exhibited silliness, but this upturn in moods is actually Classic Rafia. My brother even oh-so-lovingly diagnosed me as bi-polar one time! Just watch. Next week, I’ll be raving about cake again!


20 thoughts on “Back in the doldrums

  1. Been there doing that and it will not stay for long. That phase of – now what? or What next? happened to me and still happens – because I die out of passion of that thing I started – like it can get to a stage of boredom and you are looking for something new. Keep that spirit up and learn new things. Acquire knowledge as much as you can on various subjects and then you will be drawn to your new passion… Not everything we do needs a Certificate of Completion! I know The Best Planner has plans for me, but we can sit and wait right? So wrack your brain and list out all little and big things you want to do, get out and do some volunteering, etc. etc etc.

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  2. Boredom can suck at your soul too. It will come, whatever It is. And in the meantime… Zumba. Seriously, it’s very hard to worry about anything else, let alone your life, while trying to follow a Zumba instructor. And its fun. :)

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  3. I remember having a similar moment when I turned 30. All I can say is no matter whatever plans we might have, life has its own rhythm. We are not nearly as in control of our own destinies as we’d like to think. Take if from this old lady (I believe that once you’ve past your mid-thirties you’ve gained the right to refer yourself as such), enjoy every moment as it comes. You never know what tomorrow might hold, so don’t waste your time worrying about it. Enjoy your health, your loving husband, your awesome family, your dear friends, and your undying love for cakes (which is by the way the only appropriate attitude to have about cakes), and all the other great things in your life. Take one day at a time, try and explore new stuff, and if you ever decide to take up Russian Literature….I’m totally your girl :)

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  4. Thank you so much for these encouraging words, Geeky Muslimah! You really have reminded me how much I have to be grateful for. And my smile got bigger and bigger as I read through your comment! Can I give you a hug, please?

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  5. Man, I think I tried Zumba once. It’s tough, no lie. But then again, I couldn’t even keep up with Old Lady Yoga either. But I get what you mean, working out just has a way of dissipating all that anxiety and pent-up stress. Thanks!


  6. That’s what it is! I have these passions, but I have trouble sustaining them for too long, or long enough to do anything substantial, really. That’s something I really need to get out of – this mentality of completing with certificate. You hit the nail on the head perfectly. I’m so obsessed with titles and accomplishments, that’s I’m missing out on the joy of the journey. Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Famidha! I really appreciate it!


  7. Oh my gosh I was having a conversation with my sister today and Italy is on my top 2 travel destinations!! Why are we so alike, yaar? ;) Hehe. Kansas City totally counts, you lucky girl! Have lots of fun and make memories xx

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  8. I don’t know! But I think it’s awesome possum that we are. SubhanAllah! What’s your number one if you don’t mind me asking? I’m looking forward to it. Apparently, the city if home to one of the coolest public libraries in the US! I’m soooo excited!


  9. Oh my gossssh that is awesome! I am looking forward to reading about your experiences – Who knows which other famous person you will sit across from at a restaurant? ;) Haha, my number one is Hunza – or Hunza Valley to be precise. It is a mountainous valley in the Northern area of Pakistan – it’s known for its scenic beauty and the hospitality of the locals. It’s like something out of a travel magazine! I’d love to experience it, hehe. (Plus because its PK, its close to my heart already)


  10. Haha! I didn’t even think of that. Paul Rudd is from Kansas City, but I don’t think he lives there anymore. Hunza? Wow, never heard of that city. I’d still like to visit Lahore. I’ll have to check it out – unfortunately, my husband doesn’t fully embrace his Pakistani heritage as much as I do my Indian one. But I’m just waiting. Marriage to me will make him super Desi soon enough. I don’t know if you’ve seen the photos, but here are a couple:

    Come to America, Naureen!

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  11. I was like that too up until high school ended, after which I proceeded to fully embrace all that I love about my culture. Who says we can’t enjoy the good things? Perhaps your husband just needs a healthy dose of everything desi aka a trip to Pakistan! And if you go to Lahore, please make sure to the very touristy photo with the Badshahi and Wazir Akbar Khan mosque – I’ve only seen photos but they are sooo beautiful!!! I don’t want to come to America to be very honest but I hope to God our paths cross soon one day <3

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  12. He’s been to Pakistan, but when he was still in high school. I have a feeling he’ll come to embrace it as he gets older. Omg! Lahore has such beautiful architecture! Haha, I totally get your reluctance in terms of visiting America, I’m Canadian by birth! But perhaps we can plan that trip to Italy at the same time, eh?

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