I bought myself a domain & other things

You may have noticed that my URL has changed. As of this morning, Cake & Cows’s permanent home address is now officially cakeandcows.org. I know .ORGs are typically reserved for non-profit organizations, but why are .COMs accepted as the default? Don’t they signify companies? In that case, I’d much rather be an organization, Canadian socialist that I am.

I resisted buying a domain for so long. You might even say this move was 13 years in the making. The main reason I resisted is because I didn’t feel like my blog was worthy of a domain. Domains are not free and while I understand that I live in a capitalist society, I don’t believe in buying things just because I can. I do believe that certain things (like my new not-a-tote tote) are investments, but I wasn’t sure my blog was. In the 13 years I’ve been blogging, I’ve been through the following names: Precious Barnacles, Precious, Whimsical, The Indecisive Planner – and those are just the names I can remember! If I bought a domain for Cake & Cows, would I regret it because the second I did the fickle pickle that I am would want to change the name to something like Ruff Draft?

I actually thought of this name the other day and was like “DAMN, that’s a good blog name!” I spend a lot of time thinking of names for things.

I’ve been different lately. It might be the hormones. But in the past week or so, I’ve been more impulsive. Usually, being impulsive is NOT a good thing. But I’ve spent a good deal of my life always second-guessing myself that maybe I’ve just gotten sick of it? I really don’t know what’s gotten into me.

I know that something is off though (and “off” in this case might not necessarily be a bad thing) because I kinda-sorta asked my way onto a panel. Yes, you read that right! Shy old Rafia who is afraid of public-speaking asked to speak in public! Did I really do that? Such hubris for me to think that people want to hear me talk! I’m going to regret this, aren’t I? 

I’ve been reading this self-help book that I received as a gift from a friend called The Artist’s Way. While I must admit some of the exercises were a little too new-age for me, I trudged through to the end. I didn’t gain any valuable writing instruction, but I did come away from my reading with greater confidence in my artistic interests, if you will. In the course of one particular exercise in the book, I realized something about myself: my deepest and most secret desire is to be on the stage!

img-20150418-wa0001

Not sure what I was doing here – pretending to be Mickey The Director’s Muse or something.

WHAT? It all makes sense now. All the fireplace singing and dancing that I used to do as a little girl! THAT’S ME! What happened? Where did that girl go? The Artist’s Way told me to unleash my inner child artist. And I guess that’s what I’ve done, unconsciously.

I think I have a tendency to shoot myself in the foot before I even get started. I have these whimsical visions, but then I hear those voices in my head and ultimately choose to play it safe. But maybe I’m not as bad/foolish/unworthy/etc. as I think I am? I guess that also partly motivated my decision to finally buy the domain. A domain, in a way, is taking ownership of this blog. It’s like saying, “I’m not going to give up on you. You are mine. You are a part of me. You deserve to exist. You deserve to flourish.”

[End Scene]

14 thoughts on “I bought myself a domain & other things

    • Thanks, Geeky! At a certain point, we have to overcome some kind of fear when making any decision – be it small or large. I’m starting to realize this. It’s better to learn from my mistakes than to live a life of only wishing, right? :)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I burst out laughing at Ruff Draft – that was epic LOL. And “drame baazi”. Congratulationssss! You deserve your own domain and all the opportunities that will come with it iA. I’m glad you’re finding greater confidence in yourself and strengthening your foundation – if you will :) I actually had to go back and re read the part about your secret desire + shooting yourself in the foot before you even start. Because like, how are we the same?! I can get psyched for something in my head up until the last second that I’ll back out and play it safe. What am I so afraid of? (people). I guess. Sigh. But you’re awesome for taking a step forward. What are you going to be on stage for, btw? [Internally cheering] Onwards & upwards :) <3

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! I always love your comments, Naureen! Yes, I share that same fear. I’m so afraid of what people will think, but I guess it really depends on the people you surround yourself with. Most people actually do want you to succeed. I think we hold on to the few negative comments and keep it with us. But we need to stop. It’s not a stage, I’ll actually be speaking at a panel for this week long event called “Spirit & Place” and this event is about Muslims in Indiana talking about being home and what that means.

      Liked by 1 person

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