Moving On

Tonight is the last night I will sleep in the room I have been sleeping in for the past 10 months.

Others live in their homes for years before they move. Some never move. Ten months is but a speck in the continuum that is life, but these 10 months have been significant for me.

Ten months ago, I said good bye to my mom and dad and brother (my sister moved out years before, but I’m sure I said good bye to her as well somehow) as I moved to Indiana to be with my husband.

That’s a big change for any person, as you can imagine. But for a Hyderabadi-Muslim woman who had always lived with an immediate family member, it was also a scary change. My family was my life. Now that I was moving away, who would I be? What would I do?

The first few months were a difficult adjustment. I missed my family so much. It’s not that I don’t miss them anymore, but just thinking of my parents brought me to tears in the beginning. Sure, I loved Mr. Rafia, but he was (is!) so different from me. I had to adjust to a new routine, a new way of doing things. The freedom actually felt threatening. Was I going to lose who I was for the past 29 years? I didn’t have any friends. I couldn’t cook (I had my fair share of mishaps). I didn’t know what I was doing with my life. I felt like a hapless mess.

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Mr. Rafia on our then new couch in our then new apartment. Models are supposed to make products look appealing. But, it’s okay, because we had already bought the sofa by then.

But then a few months later, the end of March to be exact, I started blogging again – and that seemed to herald the beginning of a new life I was happy to call my own.

As I sit to type this, attempting to ignore the physical disarray surrounding me, I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the changes ahead. I’ve slowly come to welcome the freedom I now have, though I’m still learning to fully accept it.

I hope in the years ahead, when these 10 months seem like a mere moment in time, I will look back with fondness and gratitude.

Okay, so it’s not quite the last episode of Growing Pains, but being the melodramatic drama queen that I am, I thought of that moment earlier today, when Maggie comes back into the house one last time and finds Mike’s carving on the wall. I did something similar in my parents’ home in Chicago. And who knows, maybe I’ll be a senator one day too? No, I won’t. But it’s fun to say that I might (Apologies to my readers who weren’t alive in the 80s and therefore don’t know what Growing Pains is – I only know the show because I watched the re-runs on the Disney Channel over a decade later).

Bye, folks. The next time I blog, I’ll (hopefully) have a REAL desk! Well, I’ll at least be writing in a different room.

10 thoughts on “Moving On”

  1. I love changes and am never attached to things like a home. I am lying. :-) I have moved only 3 times in 10 years of work-life and that did not hurt me – but the move from single to married and all the changes that came with the married tag – made me realise I am not as insensitive as I believed! :-) We have been living in the current flat for 2 years now and with all its flaws and knowing there are better and newer buildings – i am not able to let go of this.. :-P (because yanbu is a new city, residential buildings are coming up every other day) Once a move decision is made, I am sure the shifting itself brings lot of excitement with a wee bit of unsettled mind that fears the change. And didn’t someone say that the travel or destination doesn’t matter if we have the best company? :-P

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    1. Who said that? LOL. Oh yeah, I’ve always been a sensitive creature, but I didn’t know just how much. LOL. Marriage has a very humbling way of teaching you things about others and yourself. My new place is not perfect, but I like to focus on the good and that’s what I’m trying to do. I think one’s perspective is the real determinant of happiness.

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  2. A colleague just told me that the best things come out of your worst/painful/difficult (or in this case, bittersweet?) moments. To new adventures and personal discoveries – with your husband! – in this journey :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that’s absolutely correct! It makes for a good story and stories are what we remember. I think Allah (swt) may have created us that way, to strive for good despite adversity. It helps us to appreciate our blessings. If everything were to be served on a silver platter, we probably wouldn’t be grateful for much. Thanks for your comment, dear! <3

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  3. I’m glad things are better now! It really is a huge change going from living with immediate family to a husband. It was a big adjustment for me too. Now he and the kids are my immediate family :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It feels weird to say that my husband is my family now. I think it’s perhaps because we don’t have kids. But we are a family. My parents aren’t any less family because I’m with my husband, but my concept/definition of the word has definitely expanded.

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  4. Good luck with the move! I hope everything goes smoothly :). I look forward to a photo of your new writing space after you’re all settled and have Rafia-ized it!

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