Moving On

Tonight is the last night I will sleep in the room I have been sleeping in for the past 10 months.

Others live in their homes for years before they move. Some never move. Ten months is but a speck in the continuum that is life, but these 10 months have been significant for me.

Ten months ago, I said good bye to my mom and dad and brother (my sister moved out years before, but I’m sure I said good bye to her as well somehow) as I moved to Indiana to be with my husband.

That’s a big change for any person, as you can imagine. But for a Hyderabadi-Muslim woman who had always lived with an immediate family member, it was also a scary change. My family was my life. Now that I was moving away, who would I be? What would I do?

The first few months were a difficult adjustment. I missed my family so much. It’s not that I don’t miss them anymore, but just thinking of my parents brought me to tears in the beginning. Sure, I loved Mr. Rafia, but he was (is!) so different from me. I had to adjust to a new routine, a new way of doing things. The freedom actually felt threatening. Was I going to lose who I was for the past 29 years? I didn’t have any friends. I couldn’t cook (I had my fair share of mishaps). I didn’t know what I was doing with my life. I felt like a hapless mess.

But then a few months later, the end of March to be exact, I started blogging again – and that seemed to herald the beginning of a new life I was happy to call my own.

As I sit to type this, attempting to ignore the physical disarray surrounding me, I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the changes ahead. I’ve slowly come to welcome the freedom I now have, though I’m still learning to fully accept it.

I hope in the years ahead, when these 10 months seem like a mere moment in time, I will look back with fondness and gratitude.

Okay, so it’s not quite the last episode of Growing Pains, but being the melodramatic drama queen that I am, I thought of that moment earlier today, when Maggie comes back into the house one last time and finds Mike’s carving on the wall. I did something similar in my parents’ home in Chicago. And who knows, maybe I’ll be a senator one day too? No, I won’t. But it’s fun to say that I might (Apologies to my readers who weren’t alive in the 80s and therefore don’t know what Growing Pains is – I only know the show because I watched the re-runs on the Disney Channel over a decade later).

Bye, folks. The next time I blog, I’ll (hopefully) have a REAL desk! Well, I’ll at least be writing in a different room.

10 thoughts on “Moving On

  1. I love changes and am never attached to things like a home. I am lying. :-) I have moved only 3 times in 10 years of work-life and that did not hurt me – but the move from single to married and all the changes that came with the married tag – made me realise I am not as insensitive as I believed! :-) We have been living in the current flat for 2 years now and with all its flaws and knowing there are better and newer buildings – i am not able to let go of this.. :-P (because yanbu is a new city, residential buildings are coming up every other day) Once a move decision is made, I am sure the shifting itself brings lot of excitement with a wee bit of unsettled mind that fears the change. And didn’t someone say that the travel or destination doesn’t matter if we have the best company? :-P

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  2. A colleague just told me that the best things come out of your worst/painful/difficult (or in this case, bittersweet?) moments. To new adventures and personal discoveries – with your husband! – in this journey :)

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  3. I’m glad things are better now! It really is a huge change going from living with immediate family to a husband. It was a big adjustment for me too. Now he and the kids are my immediate family :)

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  4. Thank you! It feels weird to say that my husband is my family now. I think it’s perhaps because we don’t have kids. But we are a family. My parents aren’t any less family because I’m with my husband, but my concept/definition of the word has definitely expanded.

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  5. I think that’s absolutely correct! It makes for a good story and stories are what we remember. I think Allah (swt) may have created us that way, to strive for good despite adversity. It helps us to appreciate our blessings. If everything were to be served on a silver platter, we probably wouldn’t be grateful for much. Thanks for your comment, dear! <3

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  6. Who said that? LOL. Oh yeah, I’ve always been a sensitive creature, but I didn’t know just how much. LOL. Marriage has a very humbling way of teaching you things about others and yourself. My new place is not perfect, but I like to focus on the good and that’s what I’m trying to do. I think one’s perspective is the real determinant of happiness.

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  7. Good luck with the move! I hope everything goes smoothly :). I look forward to a photo of your new writing space after you’re all settled and have Rafia-ized it!

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