The Day that I Turned into a Crazy Cow Lady

Today started off as any other day. Well, actually no. I was more tired than usual. I stayed in bed a little longer than I usually do. But, never mind that.

Each morning, I like to watch some TV while I eat my breakfast. It’s the only time I really watch TV – usually, the morning news or the most recent Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel or Seth Meyers late night clips. But since today is Monday, I had no other choice than the news.

I prefer CBS in the morning out of all the other morning variety shows. Getting Charlie Rose was the smartest thing CBS could have done. Seriously, each second that I watch of Good Morning America or The Today Show, I feel like my brain is literally melting. I don’t care that some stupid pop celebrity – and I guess now the U.S. President – tweeted last night! Charlie Rose just makes me feel more PBSish.

So, I’m sitting on the couch, mindlessly noshing away at my cereal, thinking about what sorts of wonderful work emails I will have the joy of responding to. And then I see it. At first, the image is not clear. Black and white. As a bovine lover, I can only think of one thing. COWS! Slowly, the picture gets clearer. They’re spots! And they are indeed cows! Cows grazing on an open field. I was crying earlier in the morning, because I had a quarter-life+5 years crisis, so this was just what I needed. Seeing cows brings such joy to my life. It’s not at all affected, folks. They’re such beautiful, peaceful creatures. Part of the reason why I married Mr. Rafia is because his eyelashes remind me of cows’ eyelashes. And then my ears perk up. Is this Tchaikovsky I am hearing? Yes, these cows are listening to “Waltz of the Flowers” from The Nutcracker, while wearing virtual reality headsets! (for those of you who don’t know, I was super-obsessed with Russia/The Soviet Union back in the day and even to this day, any Russian news still makes me smile).

Forget work! I need to find this video and share it with the world!

Except I couldn’t find it ANYWHERE. I searched so many different combinations. I even searched through the Super Bowl Commercials’ website thinking it may have premiered last night. But nothing. Even Mr. Rafia, the king of Google and YouTube, couldn’t find it.

I started becoming delirious. THIS WAS NOT A DREAM, I kept on repeating to myself. I was so disoriented that I even made a FB update, hoping someone out there might validate this commercial’s existence.

What the heck? I just saw the most amazing commercial with cows listening to Tchaikovsky. I’m pretty sure it was a Chik-fil-A commercial. But I can’t seem to find it anywhere online. Someone please tell me I did not just dream this up. It is the kind of thing I would dream of, but I swear I did not make this up. Am I going senile already?

But to no avail. Instead, I was mocked. I was called delusional.

But I did not make this up! I stand by what I saw. Sure, cows listening to Tchaikovsky is about as close to a dream come true as I’ll ever get (as I’m pretty convinced I’ll die as “the senile old cow lady who never went to Disneyland”), but this is real.

I’m going crazy here. All I can hear in my mind is that tune we all know so well, but I can’t see what I saw earlier this morning. Why can’t I find it? I HAVE to get to the bottom of this; I cannot rest otherwise. In desperation, I FB-messaged Chick-Fil-A, writing:

Hi! I just saw the latest chick-fil-A commercial featuring cows wearing VR headsets while listening to Waltz of the Flowers from Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker. I would like to share this video, as it might be one of the best of your commercials I have ever seen, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere online? Has it not been released yet? No one else seems to be believe this is a real commercial. I am losing my mind. Please let me know!

This was almost 30 minutes ago! And they haven’t even read my message!!!!!!! PEOPLE, I AM ON THE VERGE OF ANOTHER BREAKDOWN!

If I don’t hear back from them by tomorrow, I’m going to email corporate. I will. I will be vindicated and you will all see the video that brought joy into my life today for 30 seconds.

Stay tuned for updates, folks!

P.S. I lie – I’ve been a crazy cow lady for a while now.

Me in 2014

9 thoughts on “The Day that I Turned into a Crazy Cow Lady

  1. Hahaha! You’re adorable – albeit slightly overboard with your unconditional love for cows. Lulz. Also love how you ended with your picture in a cow hoodie at the end. This was an amusing break from the stress of work. (Yes, I read your blog posts whilst I’m eating to de-stress + catch up) Woop :D

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Do you really think I’m overboard? I think it’s needed. The world is enamoured with cats and so I’m striking a balance with the cow love, all on my own ;) Yay!


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