I am reminded that the “natural progression” in life is not always so natural for many people.
I have struggled with this myself many times before.
But how do you grieve for a loss that is not yours?
Is what you feel empathy?
Or is it fear?
What words of condolence or encouragement do you give to someone who is simply not in a place to receive it at that time?
Is staying silent better?
But what if silence communicates indifference?
What do you do?
As a religious person, I would of course pray. But I am always reminded of the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him): “Trust in Allah but tether your camel.”
You have to of course remember that God is in control of all, but that does not mean that you become defeatist or resigned to what you think might be your fate.
I had one time joked that if I never get married, maybe I could start my own Muslim version of a nunnery. But that’s not what I believe Allah wants us to do.
I am reminded yet again of another hadith (saying), which unfortunately, I am not able to locate but that offers the following advice: live in the world, but do not let it enter into your heart.
This is difficult to really live out when you’re being tested with pain and trials. The Prophet (pbuh) himself grieved for his sons when they passed in their infancy. And when his detractors taunted him for not leaving behind male progeny, God comforted him.
That last part is important. That comfort will come. It might not be immediate. It might not even be what you want it to be. But it will come.
ETA: I wrote this post earlier this morning, but did not get a chance to publish it until now. Subhan’Allah, even though I am feeling better now, I still want to post it as a reminder for myself that sometimes that comfort can be swifter than you can imagine.